Theft…
The Only Sin
Khaled
Hosseini once proffered, “There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft”
(as cited in Danielle, 2010). Committing murder steals another’s life. Lying
robs a person of his or her “right to the truth” (as cited in Danielle, 2010).
Whetten and Cameron (2011) present eight principles that are key to the
practice of supportive communication; yet, if you look at the choice of not
providing such communication as thievery, its importance takes on an entirely
new significance. In reviewing these attributes through this viewpoint, I was
able to expand upon and understand why the behavioral strategies should be
integrated whenever and wherever possible (Whetten & Cameron, 2011).
By
not using honest and genuine statements, building and strengthening are stolen
from interpersonal relationships and replaced with destruction and weakness.
Judgmental communication robs people of their expectation to be treated fairly.
Pointing fingers and ascribing blame to a person pilfers self-confidence and
leaves defensiveness. “Self-worth, identity, and relatedness to others” are
taken when failure to recognize, understand, accept, and value is the practice
(Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 251). Going global and presenting declarations
of “either-or” takes away a person’s choice and ability to contradict (Whetten
& Cameron, 2011, p. 253). Disjunctive speech steals one’s equal time to
speak and choose topics. Robbing a listener of a communicator’s identity also
pockets that listener’s response. How can one respond if one does not know the
source of the communiqué? Finally, failing to listen is the greatest theft of
all. As demonstrated by Tracy (2012), failing to pause and listen robs others
of their voice, careful consideration their words deserve; and, we rob
ourselves of the chance to hear others better and to take time to reflect on
their words. Whetten and Cameron (2011) outline steps that will help me to
avoid many of these pitfalls and not give in to thievery.
Many
of the steps can be integrating in an almost immediate manner. Although the
American Association of University Women (AAUW) Flagler Branch is not an
organization wherein a “personal management interview” could be implemented; I
am going to modify this idea in order to further develop “and build strong
positive relationships” (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 265). With each
executive board meeting and monthly luncheon, I am going to purposely sit and a
different chair or table so that I can get to know each member. This will help
me to build my listening skills so that those “500 words a minute” do not lead
my mind to wander and take my focus from the communicator (Whetten &
Cameron, 2011, p. 256). Likewise, I will be able to practice Tracy’s (2012)
techniques of pausing so I do not interrupt others or switch topics without any
point of reference (Whetten & Cameron, 2011). Owning my statements has
never been an obstacle for me; however, I need to make sure those statements
follow the principles of being congruent in order to build on the foundation of
honesty and accuracy. It would simply be wrong to steal “emotional deposits”
from myself (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 247). By providing objective
descriptions, focusing on the “behavioral referents or characteristics of
events”, and taking time to recognize the “importance and uniqueness” of
others, I will circumvent the theft of self-confidence, self-worth, and fair
treatment of fellow members (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 265). Currently,
our group is unhappy with the level of service from the local country club that
hosts our monthly luncheons. Many have been quick to point fingers at the
manager of the facility and even the service staff. A committee will be
visiting other locations throughout the summer; so, I hope to be able to apply
these techniques to that issue so that an optimal solution, as opposed to a
satisfactory resolution can be found for all members. Specificity, along with
knowing when to give advice as opposed to simply providing understanding of a
problem, does not steal inclusiveness; rather, it encourages respectful dialogue.
Although
Hosseini’s words are offered in the context of religious teachings, another
devout lesson, The Golden Rule, instructs faithful to ‘do unto others as you
would have them do unto you’. The eight attributes of supportive communication,
along with the behavioral strategies, when viewed through the lens of religious
teachings, i.e. theft is a sin; then a greater opportunity for self-reflection
is there for the taking, along with the chance to fine tune my own
self-awareness.
References
Danielle. (2010, Feb. 20). The
Only Sin is Theft. Message posted to
Tracy, B. (2012, Oct. 5). 3 Ways
to Improve Your Communication Skills. [Video file].
Retrieved
from https://youtu.be/D5hMN_XkPQA
Whetten, D.A., & Cameron, K.S.
(2011). Developing Management Skills. (8th
ed.). Upper Saddle
River,
NJ: Pearson Education Inc.
No comments:
Post a Comment