A520.1.6.RB_MedleyKim_Self-Awareness: One Stitch at a Time

Self-Awareness: One Stitch at a Time

            Self-awareness, and the never ending pursuit to achieve higher levels of the same, follows many of the same steps taken in order to envision, create, and finish a hand-made garment. Like self-awareness, sewing follows much of the same hierarchy noted by Whetten and Cameron (2011) in that, an understanding of one’s self, one’s core, is essential in order to establish priorities and goals, manage time, and manage stress throughout the seamstress process. As I look at the geometric ovals and lines used to provide a visual understanding of the “five aspects of self-awareness”, I see pattern pieces (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 62). I see the material, thread, pattern, accessories, and labor; that separately constitute the entire aspects one must combine in order to produce a finished piece of clothing. As with self-awareness, sewing is not static. Styles change, measurements change, patterns change, accessories, and even machinery change. Staying aware of these changes is what allows a seamstress to gather all of the pieces and stitch them together in a fashion that strengthens the garment and allows it sustain changes over time.

            Since returning to school and continuing to pursue a higher education, the numerous courses in critical thinking provide a base foundation from which to monitor my own self-awareness. It seems self-reflection has been a part of my vocabulary just as thimbles, needles, seam rippers, and zipper foots. Whetten and Cameron (2011) identify the five main components of self-awareness as: core self-evaluation, values, cognitive style, attitudes toward change, and emotional intelligence. I am a visual person. I understand concepts better when I can see them as an everyday finding. The core, represents the pattern style, values are the pattern options, short versus long hem-line, cognitive translates to pattern instructions, attitudes toward change is the pattern flexibility, i.e., six dress styles from one pattern, and emotional intelligence is knowing where to apply reinforced stitching for those seams that will experience stress. Once I can see abstract images and theories as tangible; I can then begin to reflect and identify changes.

            Entering school with a family can be demanding; however, since I am a planner at heart, I am able to manage my schedule such that time spent on school projects is coordinated in a way that minimizes interference with family and community life. According to Whetten and Cameron (2011), emotional intelligence entails the capability of ascertaining and knowing one’s emotions, as well as those of others and “the ability to respond appropriately” (p. 64). I plan most of my work when my husband and son are at school. Although there are times when I do need to focus on school, their patience for my immediate absence is rewarded when I take time to fix a special dinner, plan a family trip to the movies, or simply sit and spend time. Family is a major core value; and like my core and values, those do not change. They may be challenged, or presented with situations that cause me to pause; but, at the end of the day, the answers to questions derived from the “Front page test… Golden rule test… Dignity and liberty test” do not vary. Other concepts, orientation towards change and cognitive style, have experienced modification and adjustment.

            I readily admit “difficulty coping with situations that are ambiguous, where change occurs rapidly or unpredictably, where information is inadequate or unclear, or where complexity exists” (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 77). Pursuing a Master’s degree has given me the chance to turn the tables and look at change as a challenge. I remember my final project for my critical thinking course. We were discouraged from using PowerPoint. Like a dress pattern I had used over and over, and could literally stitch the garment together blindfolded, PowerPoint was a safe presentation feature for me. I absolutely enjoy creating with PowerPoint. Numerous emotions coursed through as I was faced with choosing a new medium. Remember those reinforced stitches? I am quite certain I popped a few; but, the question soon became, do I allow this to upset me to the point that my project suffers, or do I look at this as a way to expand my abilities with new technology? I chose the latter, embraced Camtasia, and was pleasantly surprised. Am I an expert with Camtasia? Absolutely not; but, it is a pattern I was able to complete and I can now go back, use it, change it, and all the while I am learning to be more flexible. Camtasia also helped me with the dimension of cognitive style labeled by Whetten and Cameron (2011) as “creating style” (p. 75).

            Many tell me I am quite creative; but, what does that mean? Does having the ability to follow pattern instructions, select appropriate material, and apply various accessories equal creativity? When I compare my skills to those of my grandmother, the answer would be no. When I was in elementary school, the television show, I Dream of Jeannie was a broadcast I did not miss. I loved her costume. My grandmother made a genie costume for me; but, she did not purchase a pattern; rather, she watched the show with me for a week and was able to cut a pattern from paper grocery bags. That is a skill I have yet to master. She came from an era where a store bought pattern was a luxury. She sewed out of necessity. Think of the creativity required to draw, measure, and cut a pattern with brown paper bags! School has always given me the chance to explore and expand my creating style. My last class, Organizational Leadership, helped to understand my introversion is not necessarily a bad quality. Finding research that helps me to embrace this trait has helped me to realize this characteristic is an integral part of my creating style. Although my score for this section of the assessment test was what I consider to be low, again, it calls this to my attention and I then see this as a challenge; one with which I want to engage and master.

            For as long as I can remember, my passions, ranging from football to sewing, provide me with numerous opportunities to learn and to reflect. My core and values came about from life lessons learned through family and friends. School has been the foundation from which my cognitive abilities developed, expanded, and matured. Many times, change has been a welcomed situation and completely embraced; other times, more coping skills have been required. I am fortunate enough to live in a time when I well remember three television channels, hand written letters, and long anticipated telephone calls. A side of me appreciates the humanness of hearing a loved one’s voice from hundreds of miles away, or reading and feeling the happiness or sadness conveyed in a letter. I remember beautiful handwriting. Just as patterns have evolved from newspapers and grocery bags; so, too has my environment. My core and my values are such I know them and am comfortable with them. Learning to be more flexible and trusting creativity; rather than preparing the perfect plan, are areas in which I have noticed change since beginning my Master’s program; and, they are welcomed changes.

References

Whetten, D.A. & Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing Management Skills. (8^th ed.). Upper

            Saddle, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.

A520.1.2.RB_MedleyKim_Mirror_Mirror

Mirror, Mirror

            I have been a Disney princess girl for many, many decades. Invariably, each has their own self-awareness moment; and, it seems some type of a mirror image is used as the vehicle that leads to their own ah-ha moment. The most memorable mirror is that from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs; however, it is not a princess that relies on a mirror. A wicked queen relies on years of untruths until such time the inner beauty of Snow White causes the mirror to finally speak the truth; which then sends the queen into a blind rage. We all have those moments whereby an inner truth is finally revealed. It is how we acknowledge, accept, and use this information that provides for a deeper understanding of the self and others. Whetten and Cameron (2011) note “we can know others only by knowing ourselves; but we can know ourselves only by knowing others” (p. 82). Only by knowing Snow White, a good, kind, caring person was the wicked queen able to know and recognize her inner evil. Although magic mirrors are not a viable vehicle for proffering inner truths, a variety of surveys, designed to assess self-awareness, are available for everyone, including those who love Disney princesses.

            Whetten and Cameron (2011) present a series of diagnostic surveys designed to ascribe scores to self-awareness, emotional intelligence, defining issues, cognitive style, locus of control, tolerance of ambiguity, and core self-evaluation. Of the scores registered and with the exception of locus of control and tolerance of ambiguity, my scores ranked in the top quartile. Neither is surprising. I am a planner; therefore, when situations are rapidly changing and/or when adequate information is neither available nor clear I do become a bit uneasy (Whetten & Cameron, 2011). Nonetheless, I have been able to develop a greater appreciation for patience and have learned to step back and reassess in order to adapt and cope with change. I do find the locus of control scores interesting as they indicate an internal locus of control, one wherein I am the “cause of the success or failure of the change” (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 78). I easily recognize I am quick to apologize for and blame myself for many things that are beyond my control; yet, I still do it; not as bad as in the past; nevertheless, I still engage in this behavior. Knowing that I have this tendency gives me a heightened awareness so I am careful to avoid this impulse.

            The other sections of the surveys scored as I thought they would. I am fifty-five years young, if I have not yet figured out who I am, what I want, and what I can do; then, I am not certain if more testing leads to those answers. I expect to know my values. I expect to know my core self. I expect to know if I focus on facts and details. I expect to know if I am a planner or simply pick up and go where the wind takes me. These areas of the tests did not surprise me. I do; however, recognize tests can be useful. They provide the basis from which I am able to ask more questions and go in search of more resources for answers that help me to define who I am becoming, what more do I want, and what more can I do. All too often, those Disney princesses had to rely on animals, fairies, and dwarfs for feedback. They were the ones who collectively held up the mirror to show the princess her inner strength. I have long sought and encouraged feedback from family and friends. They see qualities in me that take a while for me to recognize and accept. I use this same tactic after completing surveys. I will ask family and friends to answer the questions as they relate to me. I do not focus on those where there is agreement; rather, I look at the differences, for those tell me where I am not recognizing either strengths or weaknesses. I do not disengage and retreat to a world of talking mice, dancing sea life, or whistling miners. I ask, even when I may not want to hear the answer, because those “others” often times know me better than I do myself.

References

Whetten, D.A. & Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing Management Skills. (8^th ed.). Upper

            Saddle, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.

A511.8.3.RB_MedleyKim Men Hunt Women Hug

Men Hunt; Women Hug

           One of my favorite courses, taken during my undergraduate years, was Special Topics in Comparative Psychology. The purpose of the class was to provide an understanding of how nature and nurture interact and how both the make-up and function of the brain explain how behavior is influenced by biology and environment. Through numerous videos, I had the chance to view many species of animals, how they interact in their environment, and how many of their behaviors are quite similar to human behaviors. Many observations witnessed confirm Yukl’s (2013) explanations for gender differences within the workforce, that of “inherent biological factors”, and “differential treatment during childhood” (p. 375); however, those same observations support Kanter’s conclusion, presented by the Harvard Business Review (2010), which notes “the overlap between men and women is much greater than the differences”.

            Since the beginning of mankind, biological and evolutionary developments have taken place; yet, obvious differences still exist between the male and female of any species. Watch any animal video aired by Animal Planet, Nat Geo Wild, or the Discovery Channel and these differences are easy to discern With the exception of a few instances, males are larger. They are either adorned with more brilliantly colored feathers and other markings, or they enjoy endowed, physical features that demonstrate to the female and other males, these males possess implied systems, “traits and skills”, obvious “inherent differences” (stereotypes), and “appropriate behavior” required for the continued existence of the species (Yukl, 2013, p. 371). In the majority of settings, the females are charged with the rearing of the young and foraging for food; although large males, such as lions, are often called upon for their strength and power when females are unable to bring down larger prey. Unlike humans, animals display little difference in how they raise either a male or female offspring; except that many groups of animals will banish young males at a certain point. For the most part, the female of the species accepts her role in the survival of her species and seemingly chooses to stay with the young, rather than attempt to lead her group.

            Yukl (2013) cites “difficulties created by competing family demands” (p. 372) while Kanter notes a “lingering feeling” stills exists that women will be torn between choosing family or career (Harvard Business Review, 2010). Likewise, Yukl (2013) refers to a tendency to choose and encourage those who resemble the male manager and Kanter observes male leaders are rewarded with higher pay because they are often found in positions where “pivotal decisions” are required, people pay more for the trust associated with such decisions, and “people trust judgment of those who resemble them” (Harvard Business Review, 2010). I agree with both explanations. At the end of the day, when all biases are stripped away from the debate, it is the female who is charged with the carrying, delivering, and rearing of the offspring. They provide the elements of “kindness, compassion, nurturing, and sharing” necessary for survival (Yukl, p. 371). The male, equally contributes to survival with “traits and skills” such as confidence, competitiveness, objectiveness, assertiveness, and decisiveness, that allow for the provision of food and protection for the group (Yukl, p. 371). In nature, the male is often observed leaving the family unit; while the female remains. Does she have a choice? If so, does her choice lead to her personal gratification or the survival of her offspring? The instinctive, primal, behavior of the female to stay with her young is the result of centuries of biological and evolutionary changes; just as is the male’s propensity to leave and stake a territory. When it comes to leadership, I think the ultimate vision and mission of the organization contributes to the selection of the leader, is the group more focused with nurturing and caring, such as social responsibility; or, is the group focused on increasing assets? 

            Kanter’s research measures the success in overcoming centuries of biological programming from the 1970s forward, a scant forty-five years (Harvard Business Review, 2010). She states that until such time society experiences a cohort of men “who are just as family and leisure oriented” as women, then the ultimate goal, one that signifies the total change collectively sought by women, one wherein women occupy more positions of leadership at the top levels of the executive peak, will not occur as quickly as she would like to see (Harvard Business Review, 2010). Yukl (2013) notes the number of women, “who hold important, high-level leadership positions” falls short of what scholars want to see and the reason is some form of discrimination (p. 371). Both Yukl (2013) and Kanter cite reasons such as women’s inability to properly negotiate, management’s hidden efforts designed to avert equal opportunity, different standards, exclusion from “informal networks”, and an unwillingness to encourage women (p. 372). For me, it comes back to nature and its undeniable impact. That which took evolution centuries to create and influence cannot be undone or changed within less than a century.

            While Kanter notes women have made wonderful strides in obtaining positions with all types of jobs and more management positions, she, and I suspect others, believes true equality will never be measured and/or attained until such time women hold an equal number of executive levels of leadership; and, I am not certain if that is a proper measure of equality. Yukl (2013) states today’s leaders need to acquire skills from both sexes, “strong task skills, and… strong interpersonal skills” (p. 373). Kanter observes she finds women seeking jobs in more “people oriented” fields, while men go in search of more “high risk” fields (Harvard Business Review, 2010). I believe men hunt while women hug for a reason, each are more effective with the skill of either hunting or hugging. I further believe, that even if we get to the peak, whereby women are paid the same as men and hold the same number of leadership statuses, neither compensation nor rank will explain the differences that exist, in both leadership styles and actions controlled through natural physiology. Anti-discriminatory practices aside; we trust those who resemble us.

            As I look back, I have been guilty of this. My sons were Cub Scouts; and, later, Boy Scouts. I fervently believed that at a certain age, my sons were better served if they were provided with leadership from male Scout leaders rather than female leaders. Yes, I was a Den Mother for years and served as Committee Chair for the Pack and the Troop; but, I purposely did not camp with my sons. Now, I am an accomplished camper. My father taught me the art of survival in the wild; and, if I need be, I could survive in the wilderness. I passed this same love of nature on to my daughter and she loves to camp and is now teaching her daughter. For some reason, I thought my sons would benefit more from lessons taught with a male perspective. My husband does not camp; and, perhaps that played a role with my decision. Ironically, I did teach my sons with ins and outs of the kitchen and house cleaning 101. My oldest son is a chef and the youngest was the featured chef for many Scouting campfire suppers. For whatever reason, I did not believe my sons would trust me to teach them about camping and wilderness and am myself guilty of perpetuating the stereotype of men and women and camping. A group seen as providing routinized tasks, such as lionesses caring for young or searching for food will look to the dominant lioness as their leader. My routinized tasks, cooking, cleaning, laundry were the lessons I taught. That same group, when threatened and are in need a leader who can make a crucial decision and trust that decision will insure the group’s survival, look to the dominate male. I looked to the male Scout leaders to teach my sons wilderness survival skills, even though I am more than capable of surviving the wild.

            Nature provides very few exceptions where the male has become as family oriented as the female; and, this is the result of eons of evolution. Both the issues of gender difference and pay gap are at the beginning of an evolutionary process. I do not know if total equality will ever be achieved. Just as centuries of trials and tribulations have brought about changes for survival of the species; change within leadership and a resolution to the pay gap will require a longer time frame than that which has been chronicled to date. 

References

Harvard Business Review. (2010, April 2). Women, Ambition and (Still) the Pay Gap. [Video

            file]. Retrieved from
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhquUOlBuOY&feature=youtu.be&t=5s

Yukl, G. (2013). Leadership in Organizations. (8^th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.