Mirror, Mirror
I have been a Disney princess girl
for many, many decades. Invariably, each has their own self-awareness moment;
and, it seems some type of a mirror image is used as the vehicle that leads to
their own ah-ha moment. The most memorable mirror is that from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs;
however, it is not a princess that relies on a mirror. A wicked queen relies on
years of untruths until such time the inner beauty of Snow White causes the
mirror to finally speak the truth; which then sends the queen into a blind
rage. We all have those moments whereby an inner truth is finally revealed. It
is how we acknowledge, accept, and use this information that provides for a
deeper understanding of the self and others. Whetten and Cameron (2011) note “we
can know others only by knowing ourselves; but we can know ourselves only by knowing
others” (p. 82). Only by knowing Snow White, a good, kind, caring person was
the wicked queen able to know and recognize her inner evil. Although magic
mirrors are not a viable vehicle for proffering inner truths, a variety of
surveys, designed to assess self-awareness, are available for everyone,
including those who love Disney princesses.
Whetten and Cameron (2011) present a
series of diagnostic surveys designed to ascribe scores to self-awareness,
emotional intelligence, defining issues, cognitive style, locus of control,
tolerance of ambiguity, and core self-evaluation. Of the scores registered and
with the exception of locus of control and tolerance of ambiguity, my scores
ranked in the top quartile. Neither is surprising. I am a planner; therefore,
when situations are rapidly changing and/or when adequate information is
neither available nor clear I do become a bit uneasy (Whetten & Cameron,
2011). Nonetheless, I have been able to develop a greater appreciation for
patience and have learned to step back and reassess in order to adapt and cope
with change. I do find the locus of control scores interesting as they indicate
an internal locus of control, one wherein I am the “cause of the success or
failure of the change” (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 78). I easily recognize
I am quick to apologize for and blame myself for many things that are beyond my
control; yet, I still do it; not as bad as in the past; nevertheless, I still
engage in this behavior. Knowing that I have this tendency gives me a
heightened awareness so I am careful to avoid this impulse.
The other sections of the surveys
scored as I thought they would. I am fifty-five years young, if I have not yet
figured out who I am, what I want, and what I can do; then, I am not certain if
more testing leads to those answers. I expect to know my values. I expect to know my core self. I expect to know if I focus on facts and details. I expect to know if I am a planner or simply pick up and go where the wind takes me. These areas of the tests did not surprise me. I do; however, recognize tests can be
useful. They provide the basis from which I am able to ask more questions and
go in search of more resources for answers that help me to define who I am
becoming, what more do I want, and what more can I do. All too often, those
Disney princesses had to rely on animals, fairies, and dwarfs for feedback.
They were the ones who collectively held up the mirror to show the princess her
inner strength. I have long sought and encouraged feedback from family and
friends. They see qualities in me that take a while for me to recognize and
accept. I use this same tactic after completing surveys. I will ask family and friends
to answer the questions as they relate to me. I do not focus on those where
there is agreement; rather, I look at the differences, for those tell me where
I am not recognizing either strengths or weaknesses. I do not disengage and
retreat to a world of talking mice, dancing sea life, or whistling miners. I
ask, even when I may not want to hear the answer, because those “others” often
times know me better than I do myself.
References
Whetten, D.A.
& Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing Management Skills. (8th ed.).
Upper
Saddle, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.
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