Self-Awareness: One Stitch at a Time
Self-awareness, and the never ending
pursuit to achieve higher levels of the same, follows many of the same steps
taken in order to envision, create, and finish a hand-made garment. Like
self-awareness, sewing follows much of the same hierarchy noted by Whetten and
Cameron (2011) in that, an understanding of one’s self, one’s core, is
essential in order to establish priorities and goals, manage time, and manage
stress throughout the seamstress process. As I look at the geometric ovals and
lines used to provide a visual understanding of the “five aspects of
self-awareness”, I see pattern pieces (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 62). I
see the material, thread, pattern, accessories, and labor; that separately
constitute the entire aspects one must combine in order to produce a finished piece
of clothing. As with self-awareness, sewing is not static. Styles change,
measurements change, patterns change, accessories, and even machinery change.
Staying aware of these changes is what allows a seamstress to gather all of the
pieces and stitch them together in a fashion that strengthens the garment and
allows it sustain changes over time.
Since returning to school and
continuing to pursue a higher education, the numerous courses in critical
thinking provide a base foundation from which to monitor my own self-awareness.
It seems self-reflection has been a part of my vocabulary just as thimbles,
needles, seam rippers, and zipper foots. Whetten and Cameron (2011) identify
the five main components of self-awareness as: core self-evaluation, values,
cognitive style, attitudes toward change, and emotional intelligence. I am a
visual person. I understand concepts better when I can see them as an everyday
finding. The core, represents the pattern style, values are the pattern
options, short versus long hem-line, cognitive translates to pattern
instructions, attitudes toward change is the pattern flexibility, i.e., six
dress styles from one pattern, and emotional intelligence is knowing where to
apply reinforced stitching for those seams that will experience stress. Once I
can see abstract images and theories as tangible; I can then begin to reflect
and identify changes.
Entering school with a family can be
demanding; however, since I am a planner at heart, I am able to manage my schedule
such that time spent on school projects is coordinated in a way that minimizes interference
with family and community life. According to Whetten and Cameron (2011),
emotional intelligence entails the capability of ascertaining and knowing one’s
emotions, as well as those of others and “the ability to respond appropriately”
(p. 64). I plan most of my work when my husband and son are at school. Although
there are times when I do need to focus on school, their patience for my
immediate absence is rewarded when I take time to fix a special dinner, plan a
family trip to the movies, or simply sit and spend time. Family is a major core
value; and like my core and values, those do not change. They may be
challenged, or presented with situations that cause me to pause; but, at the
end of the day, the answers to questions derived from the “Front page test…
Golden rule test… Dignity and liberty test” do not vary. Other concepts, orientation
towards change and cognitive style, have experienced modification and
adjustment.
I readily admit “difficulty coping
with situations that are ambiguous, where change occurs rapidly or
unpredictably, where information is inadequate or unclear, or where complexity
exists” (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p. 77). Pursuing a Master’s degree has
given me the chance to turn the tables and look at change as a challenge. I
remember my final project for my critical thinking course. We were discouraged
from using PowerPoint. Like a dress pattern I had used over and over, and could
literally stitch the garment together blindfolded, PowerPoint was a safe
presentation feature for me. I absolutely enjoy creating with PowerPoint. Numerous
emotions coursed through as I was faced with choosing a new medium. Remember
those reinforced stitches? I am quite certain I popped a few; but, the question
soon became, do I allow this to upset me to the point that my project suffers,
or do I look at this as a way to expand my abilities with new technology? I
chose the latter, embraced Camtasia, and was pleasantly surprised. Am I an
expert with Camtasia? Absolutely not; but, it is a pattern I was able to
complete and I can now go back, use it, change it, and all the while I am
learning to be more flexible. Camtasia also helped me with the dimension of
cognitive style labeled by Whetten and Cameron (2011) as “creating style” (p.
75).
Many tell me I am quite creative;
but, what does that mean? Does having the ability to follow pattern
instructions, select appropriate material, and apply various accessories equal
creativity? When I compare my skills to those of my grandmother, the answer
would be no. When I was in elementary school, the television show, I Dream of Jeannie was a broadcast I did
not miss. I loved her costume. My grandmother made a genie costume for me; but,
she did not purchase a pattern; rather, she watched the show with me for a week
and was able to cut a pattern from paper grocery bags. That is a skill I have
yet to master. She came from an era where a store bought pattern was a luxury.
She sewed out of necessity. Think of the creativity required to draw, measure,
and cut a pattern with brown paper bags! School has always given me the chance
to explore and expand my creating style. My last class, Organizational
Leadership, helped to understand my introversion is not necessarily a bad
quality. Finding research that helps me to embrace this trait has helped me to
realize this characteristic is an integral part of my creating style. Although
my score for this section of the assessment test was what I consider to be low,
again, it calls this to my attention and I then see this as a challenge; one
with which I want to engage and master.
For as long as I can remember, my
passions, ranging from football to sewing, provide me with numerous
opportunities to learn and to reflect. My core and values came about from life
lessons learned through family and friends. School has been the foundation from
which my cognitive abilities developed, expanded, and matured. Many times,
change has been a welcomed situation and completely embraced; other times, more
coping skills have been required. I am fortunate enough to live in a time when
I well remember three television channels, hand written letters, and long
anticipated telephone calls. A side of me appreciates the humanness of hearing
a loved one’s voice from hundreds of miles away, or reading and feeling the
happiness or sadness conveyed in a letter. I remember beautiful handwriting.
Just as patterns have evolved from newspapers and grocery bags; so, too has my
environment. My core and my values are such I know them and am comfortable with
them. Learning to be more flexible and trusting creativity; rather than
preparing the perfect plan, are areas in which I have noticed change since
beginning my Master’s program; and, they are welcomed changes.
References
Whetten, D.A.
& Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing Management Skills. (8th ed.).
Upper
Saddle, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.
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